Begin with the End in Mind

What goals do you have as a family?  What goals do you have for each of your kids?  We need to begin with the end in mind.  What do we hope our children will be like as adults?  As teens?  What are we doing now to move in those directions?  What strengths do you see in your child?  How could they be used for the glory of God?  Share those things with them.  Not in a way that piles on guilt or unrealistic expectations, but in a way that builds hope and trust into them.  Let them know that God has a wonderful purpose for them.  Let them know how their personality traits can be used to glorify God.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Where it talks about "the way he should go" doesn't only mean the way you think he should go, but deeper still, it means in the way, or "bent" for which he was designed- the special, specific purpose that God had planned when He created your child.  How do we find this out?
-pray
-study your kids
 (this means spending A LOT of time with them)

As we put these things into writing, it will help to give us a clearer picture of the type of person they were created to be.  Where are they strong?  How can we encourage those strengths?  Often, the things that may drive us nuts about them, or that they may get in trouble for, are actually some of their greatest strengths, but they need us, and God, to help make those things useful, instead of a stumbling block for them.

My oldest daughter tends to be bossy.  Being a first-born myself, I recognize myself in her WAY too much for my own comfort!  But that is one of the wonderful things about children- God uses them to refine us in so many ways.  Anyway, her bossiness comes out of God-given leadership abilities that we want to promote in her life, and teach her how to use this gift to serve others and glorify God.  We don't always get it right, and neither does she, but it is one area that we have discovered and about which we are trying to be intentional.


On the other end of the spectrum, we will discover how our children are weak- and in those areas, too, we want to help them strengthen and grow.


Setting goals for each child- maybe for the month, or for the year, can help you see how s/he is progressing.  As parents, it can help you focus on what you are working on in them.  Goal setting is  the next step after a Family Mission Statement.  Once you decide your mission- then you can set attainable, measurable goals to put your mission statement to work.