Book Club: The Five Love Languages of Children (ch 4-6)

Here's what I got out of this week's reading:

Chapter 4: Quality Time
Quality time is a big one around our home, and in my opinion- for all people, whether or not it is their primary love language.  I think the point here is "focused attention."  It's interesting that in each chapter he uses examples of asking kids how they know their parents love them...their responses are so telling of their love languages!  I should ask my kids...(or have someone else do it.)  Quality time with each child individually is the best way to get to know them, and for them to know you know them.  It is much less important what you do for quality time than that you just do it.

Chapter 5: Gifts
Gifts is probably last on my personal love language list.  Not that I don't like getting gifts, but it doesn't really help me to feel loved, necessarily.  In fact, I'd probably rather shop for myself. :)  I honestly can't even remember the last time my husband and I exchanged gifts on any occasion- thankfully gifts is last on his list too. :)  It seems like gift-giving could very easily be used as manipulation, rather than truly meeting our child's love-tank needs.  The authors suggest the importance of making sure that you are expressing love in all of the other areas, too, so the gifts are more meaningful.  It also seems important to note that the gifts don't necessarily have to be purchased, just thoughtful.  I suspect that my oldest daughter has gifts in her top 3, and she is ALWAYS making things for people.

Chapter 6: Acts of Service
This is often one of the top love languages for women, but it's not really for me- and interestingly, it is one of my husband's top three.  Like gifts, this seems like one that is ripe for manipulation.  We've all heard the stereotypical mom saying "After all I've done for you, this is the way you treat me!" Gag.  Real service does so without any expectation of return.  I appreciate their mention of the importance of  modeling service to the community and serving with your kids.  I struggle with this, but I know it is SO important.